Merry Christmas?

It's Christmas Eve and I've still got plenty of things to do. . . .my heart is just not into it. . . sorry that this is another "weird" posting, but I am exceptionally melancholy every year at this time. . . and, unfortunately events have happened that just keep bringing me down.

It's been a year since my beloved Bogart died. . . and while Casey is a very nice dog & has decided that I am her "special" person I still miss my "Bogeyman" terribly.

This month is also the anniversary of my grandmother's death. . . it's been 30 years and the pain is still fresh every Christmas.

Now too it is the month that one of my Great Uncle's died. . . .leaving my cousin and her three young children grieving at a time that is supposed to be joyous.

The husband of a co-worker died a week ago. . . .I still haven't finished the quilt that she asked me to work on for her. . . . but the tears just cloud my vision too much for me to quilt right now.

A daughter of my former pastor has also just died. . . . his family has been hit overly hard with grief filled holidays (not just Christmas) and my heart breaks for them because I understand exactly what they are going through.

There is yet one more heartache that I share. . . .another co-worker has a brother that has suffered a very bad stroke. . . . she is unable to travel at this time to see him & has to rely on emails & phone calls for information. . . .my prayers are with her also. . . .I can't comprehend how hard this holiday will be for her.

DH & I went out last night so that I could try to finish up the shopping that I needed to do (plus he still hasn't finished his yet either). . . . .and all he kept telling me was "relax, it's ok". . . but there were too many people being rude, pushy, loud, inconsiderate, and just plain old nasty, and I just wanted to be in my home playing mindless games on the internet so that I didn't have to think.

Gee, guess I'm really turning into the Grinch; I didn't plan on doing this. . . . and I'm certainly not looking for sympathy. . . . I just can't wait for December to be long gone from the rear view mirror.

I wish I could enjoy the festivities of this month. . . . . . .and I apologize for being a bummer to everyone else.

Enjoy your Christmas celebrations, enjoy your families, make sure you tell people that you love them before it's too late, and be happy. . . . .for me. . . .since I can't do it for myself right now.


In peace and pieces,